got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You can't just leave with hair like that
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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