i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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