thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
