"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
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Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
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Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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