Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
