just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
