Nicole vs. Life
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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