If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
