why didn't you poke me back
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
