we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
