Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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