garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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