if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
