Where is the hickey?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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