Why are handjobs necessary in class?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
