My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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