guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
