i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
