you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
