Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
