Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
