I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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