I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
