Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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