God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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