is your mom at the bar?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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