dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
