Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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