the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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