Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
