Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
