Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
