Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
