I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
