Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
