he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize