He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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