I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
