Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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