Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
