with your own penis?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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