my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize