Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
