Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
