There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
