very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
