Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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