Your face is a jimmy john
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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