Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
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We left an ass print on the piano.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
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You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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