someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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