If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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