I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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