just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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