If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
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the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
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My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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