someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize
