party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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