I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
