Can Purell be used as lube?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.