...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.