3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
