i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
