Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
