i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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