I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
