There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
