I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
