I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
as a side note pls kill me
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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