all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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